LSR eBook 7 - 34 Questions and Answers for Understanding Men
Ask Yourself. Am I Present? Awaken the Observer and Come Present to Now.
With great gratitude, appreciation and praise we welcome you to the creation space of self love, courage, inspiration and the peace of mind that comes from gently balancing and lowering your brainwaves.
Listening to this THETA wave will assist you in creating a transformative meditative state, that will quiet your mind, relieve tension in your body, soothe your spirit, and help you remember how good it feels to be fully present in this beautiful moment of now.
Listen to this THETA brainwave as you study the following lesson.
Women often wonder what the key to a man's heart is and how to find out what is inside this mysterious organ that makes us mentally, physically and emotionally happy, complete and fulfilled, and at the same time unhappy our whole life... What do men do to us, how do they do it, and most importantly, why do they do it? Do they even know? Why don't they call? Why do they seem to just want to get laid? Why do they seem so afraid to commit? These and other enigmas can be worrisome, annoying, and stop us from living happily. But we are going to give you some great hints toward answering these questions right now. And believe it or not, the answers have always been there, but we have always been too busy or have had our eyes closed and did not realize that they've been right under our noses from the start.
We must stress that everything starts with you. The basics are to be open to life and everything around you, in order to have the right person beside you and an honest relationship. In other words, must learn to like and appreciate yourself more, to find yourself really interesting, and as a result, others will also find you more interesting. Does it sound new to you?
Personal fulfillment is one of the greatest mysteries of humanity, and reaching it is something we all want to do! Of course, we do not have to abandon our jobs to search for happiness, but it is helpful to make our jobs an extension of our well being. It is hard to understand the opposite sex without knowing ourselves and understanding more about relationships. Most of the mistakes we make about men are because we have low self-esteem. So, you have to go for it!! Start reading more, read everything that comes your way. Find yourself a hobby, enjoy new ways of doing things and once again, ENJOY YOURSELF!!
1. Why are men so afraid to commit?
A commitment, no matter what sort, requires courage, dedication and responsibility. In modern life, people are more insecure about the future and themselves and commitment can be seen as something that cuts off options. Changes feel strange, and men used to be the center of the Universe, but today they see themselves sometimes as mere spectators, not knowing where they fit in. Of course there are those that are eternally immature and will never be able to commit, but most want to commit and will as soon as they decide to, or when it just feels right. The pressure women often exert on men to commit often feeds a subtle stubborn streak in a man, making him dig in his heels even when things probably are right. Men also are not as likely to mistake the passion of a new relationship as meaning they are in love. Women tend to equate passion with love while men are actually more realistic and will wait until the dust settles before deciding how they feel. And if they are not ready yet to give up the passion of newness and know that this passion passes after a few weeks or months, they will not want to commit because it would cut off options they don't want cut off yet.
2. Why do men pretend to be in love and then disappear?
It's not that they are pretending but that they are in a state of passionate attraction at the beginning, which does not always last for them. In fact passion does not last long for men or women - it usually lasts a few days, weeks or months and then dies down. Passion is impulsive, like a storm, a hurricane that leaves debris along the way. It comes as quickly as it goes away and this happens to men and women. But women are more likely to be swept away by the passion and expect that it will lead to something or it never would have occurred in the first place while men are more likely to simply enjoy the ride and get off the boat when the ride is over unless they have made a decision to commit for some reason. So, we advise you to be careful with those who are always 'in love'. They are just victims of their impulsive ways and instincts. Maybe that's why they just disappear, because they reach a point where the passion is just over.
3. How far can we believe in their promises?
We should always remember that words are accompanied by body language (gestures, body and facial movements). If whatever he is saying is backed up by his body language, then he is trustworthy, because he has to be a very skilled actor to lie in all of these areas. But be careful if his body says something contradictory to his voice and gestures; this spells trouble. Take a long deep look into his eyes and try to distinguish between reality and illusion, between lies and truth. And watch his actions...does he follow through or not?
4. Why are they so considerate sometimes and later act as if we did not exist?
None of us can act the same all the time. Sometimes we have problems that need more attention than other matters or that just need to be resolved. Men need to be valued, just as you do. Don't forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you think that your man is just any old man, than maybe it is because you are feeling like any old woman. Think about it! If he was considerate most of the time at the beginning of your relationship and is rarely considerate now, it's time to have a talk. Pick a time when he is not distracted or too tired and when you are not upset about it and explain that you do not feel valued or treated as you would like to be lately. Give him examples - not "you used to do" but "I like it when"...and fill in the blanks. If he loves you he will try harder.
5. Why can't men stand it when we earn more than they do?
Most men were raised to lead all situations, to control everything and everyone. They are also taught that their earning power is a key indicator of their worth. So, if a woman is in a better financial position, it can subtly attack a man's self-worth. There is higher pressure, less apparent leadership and control, and together with the paycheck comes more power, tasks, occupations and concerns. And all of these things detract from the little free time you have and your desire to be with him. It is just a matter of losing and controlling space and time.
6. What will he think if we have sex on the first date?
It depends on the man, on the strength of your attraction and on the amount of self worth you have. Sex is something really intimate and it is kind of dangerous having sex with someone that we have just met. Women criticize men because they can't control themselves, so, why do we try to be like them and have the same attitudes that we despise?
7. How am I going to know if he is just interested in sex?
Easy. By NOT HAVING SEX WITH HIM! At least for a while, try to figure out what he is really interested in, if he just wants to go out and meet people, or if he is interested in the whole package - dinner, movies and sex. It will be up to you to know what attitude to take after finding out what his real intentions are. Another method is to go ahead and have sex with him and then see if he is still interested in doing other things like going on a date that may not lead to sex.
8. Why do men want women just for one-night stands?
In fact, they don't just want women, they want to win, someone to conquer, brag about or just satisfy desire. Men are more simple than we give them credit for. Sometimes they just want the companionship and feel of a woman for a night and they are able to have sex casually whereas women often cannot. Our advice is that you find a man who is a little more thoughtful and a little less impulsive.
9. Most men want to get intimate on the first date. What do I do?
Intimacy is something very special and you don't have to offer it to the first guy that comes along. It can take some time to know if the person we choose is going to respect our intimacy. The modern world tends to be shallow and intimacy should be preserved in order to avoid getting hurt or disappointed.
10. Do men care about cellulite?
If you can make yourself fascinating, your ideas, your way of talking... a little bit of cellulite won't make the slightest difference. But bear in mind that if the only thing you have going for you is your body, having cellulite is going to be your downfall...
11. Why are men reluctant to show their feelings?
Men do not usually understand emotions as women do. Most of the time they feel insecure and ill prepared, leaving the first move to the women, waiting to see what she will do. They are not sure how they feel sometimes and are more shy than we realize about showing the feelings they do have, in fear they may be made fun of.
12. How do we know if he is really interested?
First of all, look him into his eyes and see if they glow when he meets you. Then, pay attention to his voice, see if he uses a soft, low and pleasant tone, and if he seems interested in getting to know you. And last but not least, pay attention to his body language. If he is always by your side, helping you, calling you, interested in your life, concerned about you. Learn how to observe and read the person you are with.
13. Why do men find work more important than feelings?
In fact, they are both important. Only work is what provides money for everyone and it is thus more pressing. It doesn't work for men if their love life is okay and their professional life isn't, there is a balance. Also men tend to feel safer with work - they know what is expected of them and can perform. In relationships they often are off-balance, feeling they may anger their girlfriend accidentally at any moment, and sincerely not know why.
14. Why do men need freedom so much?
It is not just men who need freedom; we all need and deserve it. Historically, women have been mothers and nurturers, and perhaps for this reason we don't feel the same need for this much-touted freedom. But of course there are limits, my friend! Adventurous men will demand total freedom, just as adventurous women will. But a man that has spent his entire life alone may find it harder to be in a more long-term serious relationships.
15. Is it correct to believe that when a married man declares his love he necessarily falls into the category of 'needy'?
Just because a man is married, it doesn't mean he is 'needy'. If he feels this way, he is probably married to the wrong woman or has problems. But his saying that he doesn't have his woman's attention doesn't necessarily mean that he really doesn't have it... Once again, we remind you that words are just words if they are not accompanied by gestures and attitudes. So, observe your man more and try to discern whether what he says and does matches his gestures and attitudes.
16. Why don't men listen?
A woman who knows how to talk and understand, choosing the right words at the right time will always be listened to and understood. But talking to a brick wall will get her nowhere; it would be much better for her to start looking for a bright, intelligent, interesting man.
17. Why are men's problems always more important than ours?
Unfortunately, men suffer greater pressure from the capitalist consumer world we live in, where everything revolves around the ego. So they are haunted by the problems imposed by this world and society, thinking that everything revolves around them and their work. But the distribution of power in the world is changing and men are becoming more receptive creatures. Once again, this is a case where the history of the world interferes with relationships.
18. What do I have to do in order to win my man?
Although the world is changing, showing that men and women have to inhabit the same space; the art of seduction should never lose its essence. You need to surround your chosen man as if he were your game, but don't attack him. Make yourself indispensable and supportive, and make him take the lead. But always invest in yourself, and only yourself!
19. Why are men terrified of the magic word "marriage"?
Because getting married means sharing, and sharing in all aspects. Dreams, commitments and responsibilities, problems and - the greatest thing of all - feelings! Men have problems in this area. But there is nothing that a good long conversation can't resolve. Two civilized people can't live in each other's pockets; they need space and time out from each other. Once these minor details are worked out, the word "marriage" will cease to be a problem. Believe us!!
20. What if I want to call him after the first date?
There are two schools of thought. One is: HOLD YOUR HORSES GIRL!! There's no use trying anything to get him, as it will only make him draw away from you and you will become more vulnerable, an easy catch (but also easily disposed of). It is important to make it clear on the first date (but do be subtle) that you would like him to call you again, or that it would be nice for you two go out again some time. If he is interested he will call you. If you call him you won't know if he is interested or just being polite or, worse, getting involved with you because it's convenient.
The other school of thought is...there's nothing wrong with being honest and if you let him know you are interested enough to call him first, it may be better. Some men are shy, and sometimes they will think they don't deserve someone like you until you make a move. So just go with your feelings and if it's right it will work out no matter what you do.
21. Is there any problem to getting involved with a recently divorced man?
Anyone who is leaving a relationship is sensitive and even needy. And this kind of person tends to fall in love more easily than other people, just to replace the person that has gone, which is why you should be careful. After all, you don't want to be a substitute, or put yourself into a relationship that is just "for show". Pay attention, because you don't want to be part of a trade off.
22. How to make a man interested in you?
The secret is always the same - MAKE YOURSELF INTERESTING! An interesting woman is developed in all senses; a woman with a lot to offer. There are men that are more interested in nice figures, others in the type of person, who like articulate and intelligent women, and yet others that are interested in the whole package. So, your mission is to reveal your best and improve what you don't like about yourself; things that might interfere with your intentions. The bottom line is, you have to show him what you are all about!
23. Why do they get frightened when we say we love them?
Love means commitment to most men and they have probably learned that once the "l-word" starts being used, the woman begins hinting marriage, moving in together, and things like that. So men are often more careful not to use the l-word until they are ready to commit unless they have become good at using it in a way that leaves open the possibility that they are being casual and friendly. Words are really powerful, especially for those who are not used to expressing their feelings. The key to all of this is to demonstrate your interest through gestures, actions, looks and body language. In fact, you have to prepare him. You can't create fantasies in your head that you are completely in love and forget a simple detail - the love of your life doesn't know how you feel about him. So it doesn't matter if you are in love with him if you haven't really shown him this.
24. Is it worth being the other one?
OF COURSE NOT!! Why, to wait for him forever? There are thousands of single men that are really interesting and are just waiting for a pleasant relationship. So why do we have to complicate things?
25. Why do men pay more attention to the ones that ignore them than those who love them?
Most of the time, it is because we don't see what is really in front of us! The person could be just in front of you, showing all of their love and compassion, and we only notice them when we lose them. But of course, what is more difficult is more pleasurable. For example, would you like a man that is wrapped around your little finger all the time or would you prefer one that plays a little hard to get? Think about it...
26. Why do some men prefer dependent women?
Because men can shine in this situation, and can control it. Dependent women inspire heroes, those that fight for unconditional love and happiness; whereas independent women are confident, full of self-control. So men get scared and conclude that the right one is the wrong one... lf we depend on them it means that we need someone to protect, provide for and defend us, the historical place of men in society and history. Fortunately this is changing and there are more men who love independent women who can be true life partners.
27. How to live with a perfectionist?
With lots of patience. If you have a perfectionist in your life, it means that you must be something of a perfectionist yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be able to stand him. The tip is to understand him and be patient, trying not to criticize him.
28. How to live with a helpful man?
By demonstrating gratitude and being there for him. This type of man loves too much because he also needs love. He is the ideal man for mature women, because he knows how to value them.
29. How to live with a materialistic man?
By being understanding when he works at night and on weekends. This is a very charismatic man that avoids routine at all costs. But he is a really a vain man that puts his professional life above everything else, putting relationships in second place.
30. How to live with a melancholic man?
This man is really lovely, but really depressive. So you have to be strong and prepared for the highs and lows.
31. How to live with an observant man?
Being very attentive. By showing interest in things and always listening. This is the perfect man for women that need a tutor in any area, because he is always trying to help and teach.
32. How to live with an adventurous man?
Don't take him so seriously and be careful not to delude yourself because this type of man will fill you with promises and dreams. It is important you know that this relationship is going to be really tough, and this type of man easily tires of things.
33. How to live with a domineering man?
Don't let him control and maneuver you. Dialogs will be needed and arguments should be soft; be careful not to let them turn into storms. What is certain about this relationship is definition and security, because he is always in control of things.
34. Is there any tip that helps us seduce any type of man?
YES! And it is entirely attainable. To find the ideal man you have to be the IDEAL WOMAN! The ideal person is ready for a great love and will make the necessary sacrifices for a wonderful relationship and happiness. Remember to love always and think of yourself first always! If you feel confident, men will find you desirable and irresistible!